yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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