You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
