After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
