i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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