Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
