a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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