do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
