So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
