dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
