So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
