i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
