I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The adults are the big ones right?
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