My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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