Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
