I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
