i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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