you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
