i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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