I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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