I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
