I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
