i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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