My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
