I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
