garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
