I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
