Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
