Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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