I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
