Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
