And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i think i just lost a toe
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
