So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
