Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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