I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
