Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
