If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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