That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
