He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
