I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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