When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
