when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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