Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Boobs speak an international language.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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