I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
