omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
