I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
