i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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