Non-Jews are for practice
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
