all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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