Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
