Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
NoShamevember. You game?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
